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Our close companions for over two decades, a person who's overcome several obstacles, and I respect her for that. Yet, she has been often blindsided by people. Her husband walked away, and it was a huge shock. A lot of her social circle disappeared at that point, because they seemed drawn to the spouse. This surprised her. She put in greater energy in our friendship, probably grasped more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, quite a few of her friends have drifted apart leaving her knowing the cause. Her last employer turned on her, although she had been an excellent employee, she departed not understanding the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, both of us stepped back from work leading to more each other more, however, I feel the part I play between us feels one-sided. I open discussion points only for her to redirect the talk toward what interests her. In terms of politics, she has strong opinions. My effort is to recommend verifying facts and different perspectives.

She has been organizing a trip to a country I know well on several occasions and lived in previously. I attempted to share insights, yet it was met with resistance. She essentially just desired me to confirm her plans. I've just come back from four weeks there she hopes to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to act as a friend who cuts and runs without a word, however, I feel she'll truly grasp the consequences of her actions on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

You could end things abruptly, however, that approach is rarely the easy answer we hope for. But confrontation aiming for resolution takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Therapists recommend using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially is to state the usual pattern during your discussions. It should be based on facts and essentially what a recording device would replay. Next is to express her how it affects you emotionally. There should be no disagreement here. Emotions are valid, of course. The third step is to ask ways you together going to change the dynamics of your friendship."

Keep in mind that she also has her own side, so you need to stay open to hear that. One effective method is to say to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to not say anything for 30 minutes."

It's wildly impactful to encourage mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

She might reject everything, since certain individuals hold onto a deep-seated story: they maintain a version about themselves they cannot release since their identity is tied to it being the only thing they trust. This poses a challenge because there's no thoroughfare in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could start out this way then consider your perspective. And even if you don't achieve an agreement, it provides peace from having been honest with her.